Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Sagittarius LIVES!

I don't what this is, but it was found in a forest in Thailand. It looks like some sort of alien-centaur being. Some say it was "born of a cow" and has "severe birth defects" but the last time I checked, cows don't have faces like that or hooves with only two cloven hooves. Those are some serious birth defects!

Anyways, the village people (not the band!) decided to adorn it with flour and flowers. They sat around and worshiped this being as well, kept it around for a few days. How it didn't start to rot and stink up the place is beyond me. I don't really blame them though-- who knows what this thing is. It could be one of Stephen Hawking's friends for all we know, sending down a test to see how we would react. "Did they kill it and eat it?" "Did they have sex with it?" These would be some of the frequently asked questions by these aliens, the answers of course basing the probability of them coming down to Earth, colonizing and eating us.

Who's the Fakest of Them All?

This Bitch: Ashley Kirilow from Burlington, Ontario

If you haven't heard already, this 23 year old selfish cunt decided that it would be a good idea to FAKE HAVING CANCER to steal a bunch of money from innocent, stupid teenagers and charitable, caring adults. She shaved her head, plucked her eyebrows and eyelashes then starved herself to look like a chemo patient. She even got these tacky tattoos on her knuckles, just to be extra convincing:

She went around to concerts and skateparks with a booth for her "charity" where she would accept cash donations from teenagers-- who of course, would never ask for a receipt. Eventually word got out that this pathetic being exists and a few people threw full out benefit concerts for her, one raising $9,000 in one shot. I don't even know any excorts that make that much money in one shot. Well... I guess it depends on what kind of shot it is... a money shot?

She's admitted that she did it because she didn't get enough attention from her parents, who divorced when she was 2. WELCOME TO MAINSTREAM SOCIEY, LOSER. Over half of the marriages in society end in divorce and I'm sure lots of them have kids who suffer emotionally. What do they do? Become strippers. Why couldn't this idiot just do that? Or just stick to the small town Ontario fashion of getting knocked up? No shot gun wedding needed-- you can just have the kid and milk the government, all the while making your parents feel bad for not setting a good example of a loving relationship.

The Internet is abuzz about this girl, comments are flaring, people are angry. People are even making groups just to slam this girl and come up with ideas for punishment. The most common is "make her do thousands of hours of community service in a cancer ward" or... "let's just make her go through chemo, to see how it REALLY feels! MUAHAHAA!" I'm thinking: public beating! $5 a punch, $10 a kick... and we can even get some of those novelty butt pads for the seats. We can take them home as souveniers. We can hold it at the Rogers Centre, so there will be enough room for everyone. Also, we should have jumbo screens and air it live on the Internet, so all of the international folk who also hate this bitch can watch in honor. It could be a primetime family event! All the proceeds, of course, will be donated to cancer research.

For the record, I don't blame the parents one bit. I feel bad for them. They gave birth to this shit and now they, as well as her siblings, are going to have to deal with the media scrutiny. Everyone in the world is talking about this. People are placing blame all over the place. She's 23-- an adult. She is capable of making her own stupid decisions, just like the rest of us.

Now of course she's playing the "mental illness" card. She has a bottle of anti depressants and anti anxiety pills that she, of course, showed the media. Then she went on to describe how she has borderline personality disorder. Here's an idea: EVERYONE IS ON THOSE PILLS. Psychiatrists give them out like candy to anyone who bitches enough, just to shut them up! That and I highly doubt that this entire scheme fits into any of the categories of the DSV-IV, the classification of mental illnesses, widely used across North America (maybe the world, I don't know). She admitted that she knew what she was doing and should be blamed for it. Therefore she has no mental illness. I'm pretty sure that people with real mental illnesses don't even know that they did something stupid, nevermind readily admit it to the news.

Well Ashley, you got your attention. Are you happy now? The entire world knows what you did and hates you. I personally hope she goes to jail for a bit and then is forced into some serious counselling AND community service in a cancer ward.

So anyways, Ashley set up this Facebook page for her charity, "Change" For A Cure. You should check it out because it has become a hating ground. This is the official page to express your anger for Ashley! I went on, of course, and commented on a thread which ended up lasting for about 115 posts:

I know, it's tiny. I don't know how to make it bigger. Needless to say, the administrator/"moderator" of the page didn't like what we had to say and deleted the entire post. This enraged all of us who participated because hey, we wanted to make it into the Guiness Book of World Records. This bitch censored us and we didn't appreciate it. So, we told her, spammed her wall and next thing you know, I'm no longer allowed to post or comment on any walls, photos, comments, links etc. It lasted a few days, but it was worth it. Those people and I have started a NEW group to talk about whatever we want, uncensored.

If you want to read about this bitch, there are millions of articles about her. Just google her name and you will find a gold mine. The best comments are found on her page on Facebook and also on the Toronto Sun article here, here, and here.

If you know someone with cancer or have lost someone because of cancer, I feel for you. I have as well and it sucks, which is why I'm so outraged by this girl's unbelievably selfish actions. Continue to donate, continue to volunteer. Don't give up-- if you are skeptical about charities, make sure it's a registered one or one that is associated with a university or hospital.

I love you Nana and you will always be in my heart.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Let's Shave This Bieber

I'm a little hung over right now so this actually makes me throw up in my mouth a little. According to many media outlets, Justin Bieber is coming out with his own COMIC. A COMIC. What the HELL!? It seems to be about his life, I guess some sort of mini-bio. I think he should take the liberty of adding a monster in there to rip off his head.

It reminds me of the video of Justin Bieber getting hit in the head with a water bottle while on stage. Why would she do that? Because you look like a 15 year old lesbian. That's why.

Then I remembered this precious gem: Justin Bieber getting caught in a revolving door and hitting his head. Look at the poor little guy! He's trying so hard to get that door to move. He's like a little GI Joe but with no muscles, gear, barcode on the bottom of his foot or penis.